In 2024 it is tough not to be driven by the attention or lack thereof that one receives on social media. If we ever intend to produce our best, most meaningful work though, we have to find a way to change how we see those likes and comments.
Even without my legs, I walk with strength and determination
(Credit: Lila Fine Art Photography)
Being inspired is meaningful, straight copying only wastes your own time
I need to take a moment to acknowledge something. I need to do so that my work is not misconstrued as plagiarism. When I write these little pieces, I draw inspiration from everything around me. Those moments can sometimes be so fleeting, that I carry a little dictaphone around to make quick recordings of my ideas. I literally walk around wearing a lapel mic sometimes. I mentioned in a recent video on YouTube that my mind works in systems, I am a systems thinker. The way I formulate ideas is thus a result of everything that is happening in my life at a given moment coming together to influence each other and results in the generation of new ideas or realisation. Sometimes, epiphanies.
My current direction has been heavily influenced by Photographer and Author, Sean Tucker. I am currently reading his book The Meaning in the Making, but long have I known the extent to which the philosophical approach he presents resonates with me more than any other aspects of other photographers' work. I hope that the positive influence that it has had on me in directing my journey is seen by people like him, Susan Cain and Robert M. Pirsig to name but a few impressionable artists that have affected my worldview of late, as them succeeding in WHY they wrote their books or created the things they did in the first place. I don't think that truly influential people in the good sense do those kinds of things purely to get rich. If they did, good for them, regardless it has helped me in some way.
To that end, I often find parts of the media that I am consuming sparking realisation that are relevant to aspects of my own life when I am in those specific chapters. Currently, it is the chapter in The Meaning in the Making, or perhaps one of Sean's videos that speaks about social media and jealousy, and essentially amounts to sticking to the true reason that you create what you do. For me it has come at just the right time in my creative journey and so I am writing about what he has written, and how it has influenced MY worldview and subsequently changed the trajectory of my work and life.
As an academic and musician, I feel I am well aware of the distinction between plagiarism and influence or inspiration. My writing and work are certainly not former.
If anything I am eternally grateful to have found these sorts of works that have been nothing but good for my mental health and overall direction for my work and life.
The Need for External Validation
This is something that I have spoken about before and likely will again as my knowledge base and experience evolves. The need for validation. I don't feel like digging through the boundless archives of psychological academia to reference the why and the how of it, but know that I have identified it as a problem for me. I also know that in my case it did not come as a lack of parental figure growing up, or something like that. It was my inner child who chastised himself for never being good enough. If I try to think back, it became noticeable in my later years when I entered the workplace. I think most of the millennial workforce would by now have had a similar feeling at some point in their career. Mistake number one was to give those careers the power over me that they did. I was aware from the start that working for a large corporate entity was a thankless job, but I could not help but seek the approval of my superiors. All I wanted was to be good enough at my job and gather enough knowledge to make my way to the dream of being able to control my time when I would one day have a child who would see me there at every event, supporting them. I had a rough idea of what that looked like and part of it was the external validation that said, "You are a good engineer, you are. Despite how you may feel about your past failures."
Leeanne and I always have been on the same wavelength about the fact that time together and with our families was more valuable than any sum of money. We also knew that in our early careers, we had to put in the hours to reclaim them later.
I just took it too far. I depended too much on external validation because I was not intrinsically strong enough to believe in myself. Still, I fight that battle every day as I am sure most people do. However, with each realisation, I am getting stronger at pushing back on my own worst enemy. Myself.
The Good and Bad of Technology
Every entity or phenomenon if viewed as a dichotomy can be seen as being either 'good' or 'bad.' Whatever the property you assign, let's assume that these things only have one or the other.
In reference to technology, the internet, social media and so on, this has been discussed ad nauseam. The relevant part of it for this discussion is how it affects me as an artist towards my work, and me as a person toward my sense of self-confidence.
The 'good'
We have access to the entire world, as an audience. Do we really though? The gatekeepers of the past are still there, you just don't see them and have to win their favour over in the way you used to. They're just called algorithms now. Alas, we do have access to a wealth of resources that we did not have before.
The 'bad' and the simultaneously, the ugly
Like all aspects of society, things that can be used for good often can also be used for bad. It is our choice as to how we use it. We can use rhetoric to convince with a positive outcome for society or we can use it to manipulate. Tech is no different. And so the perceived 'business advantages' of leveraging technology like "Keeping up with the times, or getting left behind" as Gen-X/Boomers might say, pressure a budding one-man-band to use the tools at hand to promote themselves. The downside is you end up using likes, comments and followers as a yardstick.
This can do more bad than good when what is liked by the larger audience is so because of what appeals to that audience as a result of it having been manipulated to like those things in the first place. So the circular causal loop is traversed indefinitely. Some might argue that everything has to have a start and an end, and in that view, I would say that those of influence and power, wanting to line their already bulging pockets are the initiating force that gets the wheel turning and keeps it lubricated with next to zero rolling resistance.
If your work does not fall into that category you stand the chance of it not being seen and that plays on your mind. Out of fear, you start to change your work and how it is presented to fit in, not much unlike what I did to fit into society when I was young(er). It is that part of our super-ego that drives us to do this. It is not an easy thing to rebutt honestly, especially when starting out. You are so worried about what the business world says about competition, and getting to the market early with new ideas and being unique, and and and...
It takes a lot of learning, unlearning and hard internal work to fight back. I am only beginning to gain a millimetre of ground now, and I am sure I will get pushed back again. I just need to remember that as I am gaining ground, even if just one millimetre at a time, I am moving forward.
I am going to get pushed back. In my mind I am picturing a scrum in a rugby game or yard gainage in an American Football game. The mistake I made previously was focussing on the other team, the external forces, the ones I have to control over. The number of likes, followers and comments. Instead of focussing on pushing forward with MY work. The work that moves me and moves me forward.
Realists and pessimists would argue that a metre gained, but two metres lost is a net gain of minus one. True, but the other team (society) are much much bigger than me, expending energy on trying to push back does nothing but waste that energy that could have gone into moving me forward. Even if I don't ultimately reach the try line or end zone, at least I would have revelled in the small wins before I die.
Who I Want to Be
In my previous article, I spoke about where I wanted to take my work. I want to be the person who helps others like me who want to be seen, and have the talent and passion to do it, but are also being pushed back by society. I want add to your pack in the scrum. I want to be an additional force that keeps you motivated and pushing forward. That is what a mentor is.
Until next time...
Neo
If learning with me is something that you might be interested in, please reach out and we can chat further.
Inbox me @neo_lilafineart on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/neo_lilaphoto/
or
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If you would like to support me in this journey please do on Patreon. All my content is free, but the option is there to support me financially if you wish ('My Tribe' membership- $3/month) OR if you would like to commission me to create a piece of work (ie. book a photo shoot with me, of yourself or other people/places/things) the 'Muse' membership -$50/month is available instead of me quoting a lump sum for the sessions.
It seems insane to approach income this way, but I believe that the people who truly identify with what I do, and want to be a part of it can be trusted to stay a member for as long a time as we agree to cover what would have been a lump sum. I don't 'charge per hour.' I trust you will maintain your membership to an appropriate limit and in turn, I ask that you trust that I have every intention of producing and delivering a fine piece of art for you. It is as much in my interest as it is in yours.
About the Writer (perhaps one day...Author)
Neolen Pillay (Pr Eng) is a photographer and the founder of Lila Fine Art Photography. He is the writer and mind behind the blog posts that you read on this site, the development of the site and the content produced by Lila Fine Art Photography. After 10 years in the engineering industry, having earned a BSc in Mechanical Engineering (UKZN), MEng in Development & Management Engineering (Cum Laude)(NWU) and accepted proposal for a PhD in Science, Engineering & Technology (UNISA), his academic work aimed to diversify SET education by augmenting the curriculum to include for more psychological and emotional considerations. However, an unexpected turn of events, a bipolar diagnosis at the age of 33, completely changed his and his family's trajectory. Photography became therapy for his condition, and he decided to dedicate his future to sharing his experiences, and interpretations of the world, in the hope that it would help someone somewhere going through, or who knows someone who might benefit from similar experiences. He hopes to use his photography to tell the true story of his subjects through this powerful visual medium.
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